After finally agreeing to take anti depressants, I felt peculiar. Then I realised: even though my counsellor told me, at least twice, that all my emotions, including anger, were welcome in our sessions, the message I was giving myself by taking anti depressants was that they were not. So I weaned myself off them and glued the remaining ones to this painting.
It was cathartic and empowering. I broke some of them in half before sticking them to the painting, just like I did when I started taking the tablets. Some I pasted glue to and dropped them from a height; you could say that movement is like the come down from illegal highs (I’ve had those too when I used to self medicate).
I placed the painting against a window and daylight filtered through the red base paint creating a warm foetal hue. The white solid objects used to be dish cloths; no longer useful in the kitchen, they dried and I cut them up and sewed them to the canvas before adding numerous coats of white matt emulsion natural paint. Now they’re a sculpture! And I’m free to feel my feelings.
What do you think?