Collaboration: photographs of transcribed notes of recorded small group critique at uni 7 Nov 2013

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I recorded the feedback at the small group critique. Questions were raised about the three masked guys – the images appeared loaded and didn’t quite tie in with the poetic scenes later in the film; the images didn’t develop as the film progressed. Dialogue was only used once and repeated: the words, ‘you’re dying… you’re dying’ – at the beginning and end of the film. Questions were raised about the death narrative and whether we needed to know this about the character. I realised I could lose the dialogue and film something else in place of the three masked men – something that would have a connection to the two characters but need not be obvious at the start of the film. My initial thought, based on my tutor’s, was of a deserted place, usually heavily populated, and something caught on a structure and moving in the breeze.

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